Emma’s compassion, pt. 1: She understood their ways

They were now approaching the cottage, and all idle topics were superseded.  Emma was very compassionate; and the distresses of the poor were as sure of relief from her personal attention and kindness, her counsel and her patience, as from her purse.  She understood their ways, could allow for their ignorance and their temptations, had no romantic expectations of extraordinary virtue from those, for whom education had done so little; entered into their troubles with ready sympathy, and always gave her assistance with as much intelligence as good-will.

~from Emma, volume I, chapter X

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I love how this little paragraph gives us insight into Emma’s deeper feelings and convictions.  She is a fun character, and the book Emma has an overall comic or lighthearted tone, but she is a more well-rounded character for her interest in the less fortunate.  In Jane Austen books it seems to be a given that a genteel woman of the day should be known for active charity in the community, and the men also–at least the ones the reader is meant to admire, such as Mr. Knightley–are shown giving money, food, and favors (such as a carriage ride to ladies who were otherwise without transportation) to those in need.

These expectations of help from the upper classes seem to be based in large part on the stronger Christian influence of the day.  They would have been familiar with verses such as these from James 2:14-16:  “What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works?  Can that faith save him?  If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Go in peace, be warmed and filled,’ without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that?”  So we see Emma bringing her friend and “Lady in Training” Harriet on a visit to those who are both poor and sick, as Emma herself must have been brought by her mother when she was a child.

What interests me is that Emma, who in many ways is very conscious of her role at the top of the Highbury society, seems to go beyond the expectations one might have had of delivering material assistance by also voluntarily establishing some emotional connections with these social outcasts.  “…[T]he distresses of the poor were as sure of relief from her personal attention and kindness, her counsel and her patience, as from her purse…”  Emma built a rapport with people.  This is the challenge for people of any era.  Yes, the poor are in need of “help,” but is it enough to give just physical relief in the form of money, food, clothes, etc.?  Of course one can’t ignore the physical needs of others, but those are only the beginning.  Once the basic needs are met, people are much more receptive to the attempts to reach the deeper emotional, spiritual, and intellectual needs.

This topic is a rather difficult and awkward one for most of us.  For myself I find that it is much easier to send in a check to an organization, or to hand out food at a food bank, than it is to make any kind of emotional connection with people in need in the community, even though I personally feel the emotional needs are more important even than the physical.  Any kind of relational stress weighs much more heavily for me than circumstantial stress.  In my case it isn’t that I can’t relate; I grew up on free school lunches and hand-me-down clothes.  I don’t stress too much about our food budget because I know that food will always come from somewhere.  For me the difficulty is in two parts:  one, knowing that whatever pain that person is experiencing will create sympathy pains on my end; and two, there is difficulty in discerning who is in the most genuine need.  In other words, it hurts to get close, and it hurts to have someone take advantage of your good intentions.  As a conscientious person I like to see that help given will be used well.  It can be overwhelming to see needs and not be able to help everyone, or help them enough.  Emma wisely “had no romantic expectations of extraordinary virtue” from the people she was attending, but was able to sympathize with them anyway.

Then there is the seemingly endless argument of how to give–should it be done by individuals to the persons or charities of their choice, done through religious and community organizations, or done by way of the government taxing the wealthier and impersonally redistributing the money to the less wealthy?  So many heated arguments in all of those cases.  “If you don’t help the poor in THIS way you are not a good ___ (Christian, American, etc.; insert name of group here).”  Gives me a headache just thinking about it so I won’t linger on that topic.

So much more to talk about… actually this is about the third attempt at this post, since every time I started it went a completely different direction.  I’ll come back to Emma and her good intentions in another post, but for now I’m wondering how you feel about “compassion” in general, and whether you have stories of specific steps you or others have taken which have been particularly helpful.  Has someone met your needs in a particularly meaningful and understanding way?

Your Thoughts